her vagine was all disorganized.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This is the high leading the old right now
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
