Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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