Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
