your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
