matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
