I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
