That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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