Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
