I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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