Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
