I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize