I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
