i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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