god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think a kid would responsible me up
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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