she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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