I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
