how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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