Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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