so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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