Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
