He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
