and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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