I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
