weddingsv make me drug and hornr
North Korea, Best Korea!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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