I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
