He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
