My Higher Power is John Stamos
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
