Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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