You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
