So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
