Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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