forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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