It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
