dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
false alarm, still single
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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