Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
