it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
