wrigley field is MILF paradise
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
