So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think i have herpe
just one?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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