if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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