Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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