All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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