he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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