a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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