drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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