Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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