i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
