I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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