I would go down on you faster than GM stock
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I need to calm my uterus...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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