West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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