I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
