apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
