wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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