you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize