Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
