would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
