If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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