My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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