yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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